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I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
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threesacharm Offline
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I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
So I am regularly the guys my friends ask for advice when it comes to dating.... Worried I steered a friend wrong...

So here is the thing I have a friend he is in a relationship with this girl... She says she loves him...she is early 20's and he is a year or two younger then me... Her past history is having sex with one of her girlfriends... One one night stand with a guy and one long term relationship in which the guy cheated. Has been celibate for around 2 years.... They have been together for around a year... He wants to marry her. He is a petroleum engineer and works over seas so there relationship is mostly online. On his last visit here we were drinking a beer and he asks me if he should dump her... And tells me they still haven't had sex?

She did say she loves him... For the first time and that she doesn't want to have sex until she is sure he won't leave her for another girl.... I told him to dump her... My point was she is either a prude or not sexually attracted to him...he said even though she does not have much of a past... It eats him up that she has slept with other people and not him? He agreed that dumping her was worth it... But then she tells him she wants to marry him...

Anyway I said why marry a girl that hasn't had sex with you? What are you thinking....

My friends a nerd... Has slept with about 8 to 10 women...

Anyway he hasn't broken up with her yet... He did fuck another friend of ours... Recently which I told him not to,worry about... She won't tell and he deserved it...

But I was thinking did I give him bad advice? He found a girl with a very limited past that wants to marry him? Come on a girl in the western world with 2 male partners previously in her 20's? Does that even happen...

I still think he should dump her... My wife says give her a chance. My girlfriend says the girl is just scared and he should be patient...

I just would feel shitty if I told him to ditch the girl and I did and he does and she could have made him happy?

But here is the thing I get it eating him up... In high school I dated this girl that was one of those promise girls or something... You know where they have slept with a few people and then take a chastity oath... I dumped her... Couldn't take the thought of her being all turned on with another guy and not with me... She was nice and I liked her... And I had a much more adventuresome past the she did but couldn't handle hers.... So I think I just kicked her out of my car one night to make her cry... I was an asshole back then... And I wanted to see a big emotional response from her... I know shallow and insecure...

Anyway I have stuck with the advice of dump her... But I have two women telling me I am being a shitty not supportive friend?

Any thoughts... By the way the guy is a very good friend... Like an uncle to my boys and basicly like a part of the family... So I do want to provide good council... He will also never be a player and thinks it's weird that I like threesomes so much...
(This post was last modified: 03-27-2015, 10:20 AM by threesacharm.)
03-27-2015, 10:17 AM
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TideRide Offline
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Post: #2
RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
Did the guy dump her yet?

You're not a bad friend- He probably does feel disrespected by her after being away at Sea and she's like "Thanks but no thanks". If he sees her as wife material and not something of less value maybe he should endure but if she's not right for him by his standards then I say dump her.
03-27-2015, 10:38 AM
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threesacharm Offline
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RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
Nope he went back overseas before he could make up his mind... He is only stateside a few weeks...

My girlfriend told me that makes it hard... Her point was that if you get used to being alone... Then you have someone right there that is ready for sex...or just closeness it takes a little time to get comfortable again... She said she always likes how I am not pushy the first day... Just some kissing and stuff then normally we wake up spend the day together and the sex starts night two... Wife says the same...

I don't know... Maybe girls are different...

He hasn't dumped her and says he loves her and thinks she would be a good mother to his future children... Fuck having kids at 38 to me that's crazy but anyway...
03-27-2015, 10:50 AM
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Hicks Offline
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Post: #4
RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
He asked for advice and you gave it with the best intentions. If you're now doubting that advice then you should tell him that. He's a man, he'll understand.

It sounds like a complex issue and one where only your friend will know what's right for him. Personally, I think he should follow his instincts, and if he's asking whether he should dump her, he's probably thinking along the same lines as you anyway.
03-27-2015, 10:54 AM
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Apollo Offline
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RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
Best advice he will ever get, stick with it.

If she is not comfortable having sex with him, why the hell should he even think about marriage? Fuck that, she is playing games with him any way you look at it, dump her asap.
03-27-2015, 11:19 AM
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fucksong2 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
Yeah, your friend is a big boy. If he asked YOU for advice, he probably had an intuitive feeling of how you'd respond. Kinda like if a guy who's not sure about fucking a fat girl or not came on Naughty Nomad forum asking yes or no. I'm sure any person with a brain knows what kinda answer they're gonna get.

Your friend knows how you think so he's probably feeling the same thing you're feeling.

OR PUT IT THIS WAY. IF ANY GUY ASKS FOR ADVICE, that shows he doesn't know what he wants and is unsure. So that alone is a sign of something not clicking. This girl might be a quality girl but your friend needs pussy. He needs to convey this in "woman language" so that she understands. Someone like YOU can appreciate what a catch she is but your friend obviously doesn't.

So relax man, you're good.
03-27-2015, 11:32 AM
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threesacharm Offline
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RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
I think you guys are right... It's my advise and I am sticking to it... If he marries her he is going to wonder forever what that one guy had that made her break her morals for that he doesn't... I am betting it is the one night stand bothering him...


Shit I am glad I am married and not trying to get married.... And if I get divorced I am dying single...

(This post was last modified: 03-27-2015, 12:15 PM by threesacharm.)
03-27-2015, 12:10 PM
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Shanked Offline
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Post: #8
RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....

I met a girl who had only been with one guy in a long term relationship a few years ago and still she has only been with one guy. Shes 25, still single and I loved her. We were going to have sex even though she is very traditional but I never saw her again. Still sometimes we keep in contact but I've moved on.

A year is too long he needs sex with her asap and definitely should not even consider marriage without first putting P into V. Either dump her now or have sex then decide what to do. Those really are his only choices.
(This post was last modified: 03-27-2015, 12:39 PM by Shanked.)
03-27-2015, 12:39 PM
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TideRide Offline
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Post: #9
RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
You know I think you should just ask the guy to focus on what he really wants in life. Like Tony Robbins says a lot of times finding ou what you really want is about asking yourself the right questions.
03-27-2015, 03:26 PM
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Shanked Offline
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Post: #10
RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
Tide turning over a new leaf?
03-27-2015, 06:35 PM
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threesacharm Offline
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RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....
He is staying with her... But telling her that he is going to sleep with women. He would prefer that the women is her but if not it will be someone... He is also going to ask her to marry him... Well shit... Right...
Tide ride... What you want in life doesn't always workout...
(This post was last modified: 03-28-2015, 07:46 AM by threesacharm.)
03-28-2015, 07:45 AM
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Max Offline
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Post: #12
RE: I think I gave a friend some bad advice....

Agreed. No sex = no chance for relationship. I could never form intimacy with a girl without having sex first.

(03-27-2015, 11:19 AM)Apollo Wrote: Best advice he will ever get, stick with it.

If she is not comfortable having sex with him, why the hell should he even think about marriage? Fuck that, she is playing games with him any way you look at it, dump her asap.

03-28-2015, 09:17 AM
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