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Analysis of a personality disorder
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Sexiback Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
Sure...if that's the case, you're already the last one to leave the party.

Alls I know is if someone proper likes you their social activities, especially flimsy stuff thats mainly online become way less.

People are on their phone constantly because they're 1. insecure and 2. bored. Boredom in general is something most women suffer from... so they spend ours browsing pictures and posting silly stuff on instagram etc. Give them something to do, they'll stop doing it.
(This post was last modified: 12-22-2015, 04:14 AM by Sexiback.)
12-22-2015, 04:13 AM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
I kept reading more. These things are not a "yes" or "no", it's not categorical but a spectrum and many disorders overlap and every person shows different traits. My gal was mostly Border Line with some signs of psychopathy + had instances of psychosis, no remorse, cheating etc.. all inline with the literature.

No doubt that some people fall out of love, some people slip and cheat or are immature and can't handle stuff but when you're 32 and you've had nothing else but this sort of relationships... it's who you are. I can't understand how I didn't realize this WHILE we were together, it blows my mind, and now I have this definite diagnosis but don't want to contact her because I've swore NC (no contact) and I she'll only think I'm saying these things because I'm hurt and angry. (which I am, but it has nothing to do with it)

Anyway this girl was a huge gift for me. I now know what kind of girl I'm looking for.... the complete opposite of everything this girl was. Every trait and detail from her history - in reverse:

Healthy family, healthy married parents, no cheating, good relations with exs, kind, open sexually but not a total slut, stable, consistent self esteem, etc etc etc





(This post was last modified: 12-23-2015, 07:58 PM by 007 Game.)
12-23-2015, 07:56 PM
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Rick91 Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
Question 007, outside of this girl have you ever had strong feelings on a par with what you had with her or more with someone else in the past?

12-23-2015, 08:52 PM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
I was addicted, obsessed and infatuated but I confused it with "love".

No, I never felt such feelings before, but the reason is obvious. She was playing games non stop, mentioning other guys non stop, making me jealous, raising her value artificially , push pulling, months into the relationship which is NOT normal... only manufactured and manipulative behavior can produce such feelings and it had NOTHING to do with her personality.

She's an AWFUL person, not good, not kind, cheating back stabbing, of course she was "trying to change" bla bla bla and it's all because of her "traumatic childhood" so you keep telling yourself "she will change" and she's a "hurt soul" etc but it's all self deception.

She was also "cool", pretty smart and interesting, good looking and the sex was amazing but nothing to justify the feelings that I had. They were totally manufactured by the psychotic / manipulative behavior. Normal people don't play games passed the 3-4-5th date, not to mention 4-5-6 months. Half of what she talked about was other men.

"I'm starting to work in this new company... it's 50 guys and only 3 girls, can you imagine?" She told me that maybe 3-4 times when she started working there. She almost never mentioned girl-friends, only guys.

And a girl who says "I'm afraid of being myself" / "I'm afraid of my monster" - you can bet she knows exactly what she was doing.

I knew too of course but instead of just leaving I played harder, to the point of us not writing each other for days, just seeing who would break first.... until it just fell apart. Fuck that cunt, I'm feeling much better now finally and know I dodged a bullet, my emotions are finally catching up with my brain.

A few days ago I remembered how she said before leaving Argentina that she would take Tango lessons (which she did) and start Spanish lessons (didn't), mirroring what I was doing in BA. She also told me how she started using my words and phrases and gestures (more mirroring) and how all her friends "can't wait to meet me" (but then introduced me to just 3) .

The "love bombing" and then withdrawal is POWERFUL. They shower you with how much they're in love with you and then from one minute to the next - take it and start the cold / hot game with mixed signals. So you ask yourself "wtf happened???" and start frantically to get her to "love you again" wanting what you had just a few days earlier. I think this is the most awful part, this and the triangulation / jealously plot lines.

We learned these things in pick up, for doing it at night at a bar. THESE PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME.

I'm thinking of doing a "revenge email", something that starts as a nice "update" about me and slowly turns into the most awful "you're the most terrible and sick person I know" email, and send it 1 day before her birthday.... You can only get back at them with their own medicine. It's so "funny" how I suggested, twice, that she was disordered but only is passing, and then didn't follow up on reading about it. It's like any other addiction, you know you're addicted but you keep on doing it.

(This post was last modified: 12-23-2015, 10:01 PM by 007 Game.)
12-23-2015, 09:07 PM
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Rick91 Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
I went through the same whirlpool of emotions with that chick in cambodia. Except when I returned after 5 months I literally felt like a block on my sub conscience from feeling anything towards her. Then from the day I met her again I fucked other girls constantly while also fucking her. I would have been better dropping her cold turkey but I had to ease myself of her slowly.

I still wanted to go back to her and it was pretty hellish (massive stomach drops when I saw her randomly) seeing her with other guys here and there out at the club.

I met a nice hot girl who instead of feeling almost fear at being humiliated in the club or bar scene by her I felt pride and I felt completely secure. This is what it should be like. However the intensity wasn't there which I miss but at the same time it can be such a destructive mindset to be in with the wrong person.

Islam actually says something pretty wise in regards to these kind of women from the prophet himself. He said "Beware of the venure growing in the manure" which basically means beware of beautiful women who grew up in a evil place.
(This post was last modified: 12-26-2015, 09:32 PM by Rick91.)
12-26-2015, 09:29 PM
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fucksong Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
hey guys, I posted this opinion in another thread but seriously try doing the multiple open relationship thing. Not necessarily fuck buddy but real love. You'll find that a lot of the complaints you're having will be gone. For example, there have been several times I've actually considered "breaking up" when it hit me, wait, we're open. If I want to, I can go meet a new girl to satisfy whatever it is that I'm lacking or rather than this current gal is not providing which then lead to next realization. Why am I even looking for someone else or relying on someone else to give me happiness when I should search for that within myself which then led to what is my life purpose, what makes me happy, what am I spending my time and energy on, etc. Not saying that you guys are not happy or relying on girls but for me, I caught myself doing that. And when I started focusing on myself again, I cocompletely let go of all negative emotions towards my gal and actually realized I'm happy having her on my life. Maybe not marriage but def having her.

@sexiback - Yeah I agree with part of your analysis. I'd say it's a combination of both. This chick is actually very ADD and I even tease her about it but what's also interesting is when I'm in a happy, inspired mood, we get along great. But if I've been working on work that is uninspiring, I'm naturally in a uninspired state to which she is hypersensitive to, so probably naturally gets bored and needs her dopamine hit from elsewhere. You could make the argument that I should not be with a person who is fickle with her emotions but again, referencing my above thoughts, when you're happy with yourself and non-needy, it becomes much easier to accept people for how they are and appreciate what is good about them. Right now, she brings me feminine energy that as men, we do need I think or enjoy. (Donr want to use the word need) But she makes me laugh, will let me do anal and she looks like my favorite porn star. If one day, I want more, I'll do so but until then, I'm happy with situation.
Kaizen (Continuous Improvement) My personal journey of improving myself as a man and finding happiness

https://kaizenmanofsteel.wordpress.com
12-26-2015, 09:52 PM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
It was an open relationship. And I slept with 20-25 girls between first sleeping with her until we broke up.
(This post was last modified: 12-27-2015, 08:10 AM by 007 Game.)
12-27-2015, 07:47 AM
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fucksong Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
"I was addicted, obsessed and infatuated but I confused it with "love"."

Those were your words, right? Thus, you weren't really in a loving relationship. Just to be clear, I'm not trying to be critical as I can somewhat relate but I think the main difference is I actually accept however the girl is and love her. Doesn't mean I have to be with her for the rest of my life. Plus, you're the bigger pimp as you had tons more girls than I have so I'm actually a little confused why you are so torn over this girl if you truly were in an open relationship. Do you feel like you're on point in your life and have purpose? Just curious as every time I've started to feel negative about my situation, it's usually been when I was feeling needy because I wasn't feeling good about other areas of my life so I started to depend on her for positive emotions but once I became aware of that, I would suddenly feel free and totally compassionate and accepting.
Kaizen (Continuous Improvement) My personal journey of improving myself as a man and finding happiness

https://kaizenmanofsteel.wordpress.com
12-27-2015, 03:27 PM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
During the relationship I obviously thought it was love and accepted her madness. Obviously because if I wouldn't, I wouldn't have stayed with her. I agree that being exhausted from traveling and coming to the end of the line in terms of lack of direction made my feelings towards her stronger, but it has more to do with the sex games and manipulation, love bombing and then withdrawal.
12-28-2015, 03:15 AM
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fucksong Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
Yeah, if she was manipulative, that's different as her energy is affecting you and you're playing defense instead of growing as a human. Stay strong man but it's good that you at least recognize that your feelings grew stronger for her due to lack of direction.

Just a few min ago, my gal came back into town to which I said I missed her. She said we might not be able to meet until AFTER New Year's Eve, basically during the day. Now at first I was butthurt but then haha I actually remembered the advice I had posted to you and applied it to myself. Why was I butthurt? Is it because I'm horny? Lonely? Okay, I can just go meet another girl. But then don't you see I'm still relying on another girl for positive emotions. Or I could keep on my mission to always improve myself. I actually just bought Bruce Lee's book, Striking thoughts and he apparently has a few other books as well. Suddenly I became super happy that there was all this new knowledge I could learn and absorb and suddenly I didn't care if I saw my gal or not. I wasn't sad or resentful (which were my initial emotions)

Kaizen (Continuous Improvement) My personal journey of improving myself as a man and finding happiness

https://kaizenmanofsteel.wordpress.com
12-28-2015, 04:48 PM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
Or maybe you're just missing her. There is nothing wrong with that mate.

I miss my whore manipulative bitch ex. That's called trauma bond and is probably not healthy. But that's a different story.
12-28-2015, 11:05 PM
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fucksong Offline
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Post: #27
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
Blackdragon just wrote a great post somewhat related to this topic. Loneliness:

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2015/12/28/loneliness/


Oh, just listened to his podcast today too on how to set up an open relationship. Not sure how you're doing it or if you applied JO's stuff but I found a few gems in episode 5:

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/podcasts/
Kaizen (Continuous Improvement) My personal journey of improving myself as a man and finding happiness

https://kaizenmanofsteel.wordpress.com
(This post was last modified: 12-29-2015, 12:51 PM by fucksong.)
12-29-2015, 12:39 PM
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Hicks Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
(12-26-2015, 09:29 PM)Rick91 Wrote: He said "Beware of the venure growing in the manure" which basically means beware of beautiful women who grew up in a evil place.


I think that's even more pertinent for Muslims as they often don't wait until the girl has grown up.
01-01-2016, 01:02 AM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
Well, what can I say. I've been fooled. Again.

I think I mentioned it somewhere before but I got back in contact with this woman. Long story short - we've been "friends" for 4 months, from end of January till 10 days ago. We had sex once, in Cannes during the festival. First few weeks it seemed like we'd get together again, then again she pushed me, then pulled... saying she wanted to be alone. So we kept talking and I'd come visit her every month in Paris, we'd sleep in the same bad but not fuck. Then two weeks ago she decided she's ready to date again but that she doesn't feel she loves me as a partner and we broke contact. I tried convincing her that she was running away from a great relationship out of fear but she didn't listen. Classic borderline.

Luckily, I was seeing someone else, this 24 Swedish angel, who I upgraded from "seeing" to full on relationship. I think I mentioned her. She's been living in my apartment for the last 10 days, we're totally a couple.

She's the nicest, sweetest, good hearted person I've ever met in my life. She just spent her two weeks vacation in Greece, volunteering in a refugee camp. Yes, that's what she did for her VACATION.

She's been vegetarian since she was 9 but her mom claims she expressed wanting to not eat animal products since she was 2 years old.

Anyway, she's a keeper. If she lets me bring a girl from Tinder for a 3some every couple of weeks, I'm going to keep this girl for a long long time... if not forever. Who knows.
06-19-2016, 12:04 AM
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Sexiback Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Analysis of a personality disorder
If you've have little no to no experience in relationships, it's hardly a surprise if you get played for a fool. How would you know a good from a bad apple?

'fraid to ask what happened to Fucksong and his wife.
06-19-2016, 05:22 AM
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