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Backing off from having sex with girls too quickly
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #1
Backing off from having sex with girls too quickly

I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm going to try to postpone sex with girls I date from now on.

The real honest to god truth is that if you're serious about finding someone, you better get your sex from a prostitute than from the girls you date.

We find ourselves in relationships with girls who are not good enough for us, for far too long, only because the sex is good or even just because the sex is THERE.

When you travel, or not looking for someone, sure just fuck around and keep them at an arms length.

But if you're looking for someone serious the sex can quickly lead to a false feeling of connection when in reality there isn't one.

All those chemicals make two people who have nothing or little to do with each other bonded in a very serious way and by the time you figure out what's going on, you're totally "hooked" on each other.

Then when those chemicals wear off, you end up in a shitty relationship with some nut or just someone who isn't right for you.

I know, this sounds conservative and I guess if you're strong enough and smart enough you CAN have sex quickly and then, as I said, keep them at an arms length but we need to be honest about how strongly these chemicals and just the availability of sex from that person brings us closer to them.


Or, you should ask yourself - if I didn't have sex with this girl, would I still hag out with her so much?

If you're serious about looking for someone, and the answer is NO, then you should break it off.

Even after having more sex than 99,9% of men out there, I will still find myself spending too much time with girls I shouldn't be with, just because I know that I'm going to bang them. I'm not saying I'll stay with anyone, of course not, but I'm sure you know what I mean here... if she's pretty, if I can have a conversation with her + there is sex = it's enough.

Bullshit, life is too short.

Not sure what you guys will think about this... I know it's really going against everything I've done in the passed 4.5 years, when if on a dance-floor a girl didn't kiss me within 5 minutes I'd dump her.

But it's different when you're playing the field and working on getting good at this, and when you actually want to find good honest relationships for something more serious. (obviously)

I don't know how far I want to take this... we'll see.
11-06-2015, 06:40 PM
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SpecialEd Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Backing off from having sex with girls too quickly
I thought I had a lot of free time in my hands...

But damn 007, your whole life seems to revolve around your women problems.

Have you thought about doing some volunteer work in Somalia or something just to keep yourself busy?
11-07-2015, 03:09 AM
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Sexiback Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Backing off from having sex with girls too quickly
About 3 years ago you ...would have violently dismissed what you're saying today.

Well, look at that. It's fine, humans don't learn by others telling them. See one - done one, is the only way.

But then again, all generalisations are false - including this one.

(This post was last modified: 11-07-2015, 04:09 AM by Sexiback.)
11-07-2015, 04:07 AM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Backing off from having sex with girls too quickly
Yes, after 4.5 years of being single / only in open long distance relationships I'm trying to consolidate everything I've learned and experienced. Time for introspection. It's not only about women but my whole lifestyle.

On Monday I have an interview for a two year film school program in London. If they accept me I'll do the first semester for sure, then decide about the rest. I need to be stationary for a few months and try to get off the intensity for awhile. I'm even thinking about renting a house on some beach someplace for one month and not going out of it at all. Only read and write.

Then a few days later I'm flying to Miami for a zero gravity flight :-)

I'm not sure what I'd think 3 years ago. Maybe I'll look for something more serious now, but it's still not going to be a closed monogamous relationship, that's for sure. I know so much more than I did 4.5 years ago, I've seen so much, done so much, it's mind blowing. I feel 70.


(This post was last modified: 11-07-2015, 04:41 AM by 007 Game.)
11-07-2015, 04:34 AM
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fucksong Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Backing off from having sex with girls too quickly
(11-06-2015, 06:40 PM)007 Game Wrote: I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm going to try to postpone sex with girls I date from now on.

The real honest to god truth is that if you're serious about finding someone, you better get your sex from a prostitute than from the girls you date.

We find ourselves in relationships with girls who are not good enough for us, for far too long, only because the sex is good or even just because the sex is THERE.

When you travel, or not looking for someone, sure just fuck around and keep them at an arms length.

But if you're looking for someone serious the sex can quickly lead to a false feeling of connection when in reality there isn't one.

All those chemicals make two people who have nothing or little to do with each other bonded in a very serious way and by the time you figure out what's going on, you're totally "hooked" on each other.

Then when those chemicals wear off, you end up in a shitty relationship with some nut or just someone who isn't right for you.

I know, this sounds conservative and I guess if you're strong enough and smart enough you CAN have sex quickly and then, as I said, keep them at an arms length but we need to be honest about how strongly these chemicals and just the availability of sex from that person brings us closer to them.


Or, you should ask yourself - if I didn't have sex with this girl, would I still hag out with her so much?

If you're serious about looking for someone, and the answer is NO, then you should break it off.

Even after having more sex than 99,9% of men out there, I will still find myself spending too much time with girls I shouldn't be with, just because I know that I'm going to bang them. I'm not saying I'll stay with anyone, of course not, but I'm sure you know what I mean here... if she's pretty, if I can have a conversation with her + there is sex = it's enough.

Bullshit, life is too short.

Not sure what you guys will think about this... I know it's really going against everything I've done in the passed 4.5 years, when if on a dance-floor a girl didn't kiss me within 5 minutes I'd dump her.

But it's different when you're playing the field and working on getting good at this, and when you actually want to find good honest relationships for something more serious. (obviously)

I don't know how far I want to take this... we'll see.

So when do you think would be the "right time" and "right way" to have sex with a girl you are interested in?

I think this would be great insight for all of us guys who are trying to hook up with girls who are also in a similar situation as yours. I think there are many girls who are good looking and have been offered dick since they were in their teens will probably have a similar predicament such as yours so would be insightful to know what is the best way to proceed since an SNL would be off the table. Just this week, I met a 24 yr girl who opened up to me that several guys have propositioned her for sex aka a sugar daddy, a girl who was 18 who has about 6,000 Tinder fans and was getting texts constantly, etc. My point being that 007 is one of the rare guys who knows what it must be like to be a hot chick haha so fill us in brother, fill us in!

Thanks and good luck with your journey
Kaizen (Continuous Improvement) My personal journey of improving myself as a man and finding happiness

https://kaizenmanofsteel.wordpress.com
11-07-2015, 05:46 PM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Backing off from having sex with girls too quickly
So as I was saying, the sex can confuse you. You're in a cloud of chemical bonding, you don't see the person for who she really is but the chemical infatuation takes over and clouds your judgment.

Look, the whole idea of dating is foreign to me. You know before March, I didn't date for like 2-3 years because I only did club / dance floor game and if it lead to something serious it was because we ended up spending 3-4-5 days together. Getting to know someone on a date, or even many dates is not really possible. So I don't know if after 1 or 4-5 dates would matter.

I think the key is to listen to your intuition. If you have a voice that says "this isn't good, run away", you should, even if you're already addicted to the sex and attention. I knew my girl is bad news and I stayed and stayed and stayed.

We didn't speak for almost a month and I'm still fucked, still asking "what if", still can't really enjoy other girls. The thing with crazy chicks is that they're just so much more interesting, other girls are so boring in comparison.

After all these years of traveling and game and sex, I have no idea how I'd be able to adjust to real life again and even if I should want to. Building anything of "value" while you live like this is simply impossible but I'm not even sure what "value" means any more.

Confusing times.
11-08-2015, 05:23 PM
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JJ Roberts Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Backing off from having sex with girls too quickly
(11-08-2015, 05:23 PM)007 Game Wrote: Building anything of "value" while you live like this is simply impossible but I'm not even sure what "value" means any more.

Confusing times.

What you are looking for is what I call a pure form relationship.

We should set up a chat on skype.

I know exactly what you want.

Shame we didn't get to meet in London. Am in SE Asia now. Anyway, PM me.
11-08-2015, 11:18 PM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Backing off from having sex with girls too quickly
OK but I wasn't talking about a relationship actually. I was talking about something else, career wise, impact in some way, writing... I enjoy too many things but nothing that makes me want to give 10,000 hours, abandon my lifestyle of traveling and stay somewhere to do just that. But I'm serious about the London film school, if they accept me I'll do one semester and see how it feels. It's just 3-4 months.

(This post was last modified: 11-09-2015, 08:03 AM by 007 Game.)
11-09-2015, 07:50 AM
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