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Tribes
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John Doe Offline
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Post: #1
Tribes
Hello,

I thought about the importance of tribes in life. We always gather in tribes. I joined many tribes in different roles. It's a new realization for me about the importance of this. I'm finding that Trust, Confidence and Sex are some of the most valuable social commodities. In the past I was not aware enough of what tribes I was entering and what role I was playing in it. Travelling to meet girls makes me more aware of this. 

In the past 5 years or so, I was more of a "lone wolf" since I left the tribes of my hometown, my family and other such as my music band, etc. 

Now I realize that this way of living has its advantage and limitations. I understand why so many men commit to a career and a location. They get many advantage by getting a higher social status, women being one of the obvious but not sole advantage.

I did not realize that in some tribes it was not going well because the current leader felt a bit threatened whereas I'm all about cooperation and do my best to level any hierarchy and bring everybody together. I just had this realization about a colleague/friend: "Oh, actually that's why this guy hated me, I did not even acknowledged him as the leader of the group". This is because I view people and life more on a spiritual level, for me it's a bit backwards to always wonder: "what is the status of the person in front of me?". We are all the same and we all have our strengths, weaknesses and perks.

However, I know that the large majority of people live at this level of consciousness and it's fine. I do as well. However I have to make a conscious effort to take into account the hierarchy and people's roles. Maybe it's a lack of social intelligence? Maybe it's the way I think? Both?

The world would have not been like this if there was no hierarchy and no roles, they are good in themselves. In this life, I'm more the innovator/change agent type, so I fit in, it's just not my natural language to view things through the filter of social roles and hierarchy. I'm learning, though.

Being the "lone wolf", one has to adapt. It is a role in itself.

In my career, I now understand that people have to know that they can trust me and that I will commit. They know I can bring value but I look a bit unpredicatble. That's why I don't fit so much in very conservative environments. 

Do you guys have anything to share on this topic?

Not sure I'm clear: my intention is to talk about tribes, our relationship to them and our roles in them, especially as mobile young males. Independance vs established communities.
(This post was last modified: 09-20-2016, 06:19 PM by John Doe.)
09-20-2016, 06:11 PM
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Alex Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Tribes
I guess you have to look at where we came from. Apes are social animals, they live together and put themselves into roles with an alpha at the top and newborns/new entrants at the bottom. Human society seems advanced but in most aspects it's still a tribal society.

Recently I was on a program that had about 3 brits out of 150-something students, I naturally gravitated to them because we had some shared cultural "tribal" values. When I go out and meet someone from my hometown I get really excited, because we can relate to the same old problems back at home. Eventually this works its way up to nationalism and related ideologies which are probably the end point of tribalism.

The reason the "lone wolf" lifestyle is difficult is because humanity isn't adapted to it very well. Most lone-living people go one of two ways -they either get depressed and ill, or they end up veering wildly from person to person searching for short comfort (eg - hunting women relentlessly). Just like the monkeys, a monkey separated from his tribe will get sick and die.

Quote:I did not realize that in some tribes it was not going well because the current leader felt a bit threatened whereas I'm all about cooperation and do my best to level any hierarchy. This is because I view people and life more on a spiritual level, for me it's a bit backwards to always wonder: "what is the status of the person in front of me?". We are all the same and we all have our strengths, weaknesses and perks.

I can understand this. I'm the same in some ways. I'm pretty passive and usually go with the flow - not out of timidness, but out of curiosity and self-assuredness that it will all be fine. I'd consider myself a pretty forward thinking guy, I actually don't like our innate tribal sensibilities and at least consciously I like to think of everyone as the same regardless of age, sex, gender, race, ethnicity, religion etc etc. Thing is though when the chips are down it's what people fall back to.

I'm moving into a professional world where hierarchy and tribalism are extremely important. I will have to adjust my thinking to take that into account.

I'm sort of rambling now.
09-20-2016, 06:26 PM
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John Doe Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Tribes
I feel you. I share the same perspective and I am doing the same: starting in a field where hierarchy is important in 2 months time.

Also it depends on many different individual parameters: Myers-Briggs I'm ENFP, so it plays a role. And the type of intelligence and sensitivity we have.

Yes, it will always be present at some level the "ape-thing". Too much in my opinion: the wars and stuff. They make sense on a tribal/animal level but absolutely no sense on a human/spirit level.

I accept this duality in us, I just think it all comes down to what wolf we feed. Maybe it also boils down to the dualities of being vs having or fear vs love.

That's what is killing me: we are in the most advanced societies that ever existed and we are still worried about our survival and this fear is creating the very same conditions threatening our survival. Go figure.
(This post was last modified: 09-20-2016, 06:42 PM by John Doe.)
09-20-2016, 06:41 PM
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